We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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