We won't sleep together?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize