wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
is it fun? or sober?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
