i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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