I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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