if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
