Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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