Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
