drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
