no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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