Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
