so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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