legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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