remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
