Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
