They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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