I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
