I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
