So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
