She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
