I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize