Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
