dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
