I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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