My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
