Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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