She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
