terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
