There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
