I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
there is puke in my bra ... again
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