Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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