I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
