Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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