I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
