it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
