We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I bet he comes in French.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
