sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
