I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
