just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
