We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
