im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
