"it" just moved
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
