Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm both gender and math confused
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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