i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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