I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize