Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
