Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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