after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
