so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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