Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
