god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
