Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
