paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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