somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
