Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
