1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
