dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Someone came in the potted fern
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
