Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
