Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
