so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
