fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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