We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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