Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I would fuck him just for his dog
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
