oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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