she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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