we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize